When she is born, majority of the parents start treating her as a burden from the day one, mothers start fearing that she badly needs a baby boy next time to avoid any complications in their married life. Her birth is considered as a bad omen and bad luck and an un-wanted person. She is alone, ignored and not properly brought up by the parents. Her rights to basic education and higher education are often denied. She is considered as a helping hand to mother, care taker of brothers and sisters and her father. She lives in dreams which are often not fulfilled cause there is no body around to give her the love, affection and guidance she needs to excel in her life. She is deprived of the basic rights and her voice if raised is being forced to silence as our society has established the rule that she can not be a rebel in Man's world. Yes she is the Pakistani woman in the role of daughter, sister, mother and a wife.
Our Religion stresses strongly on the security and self respect of women but no one amongst us is coming up with an arrangement to provide her safe, healthy and care free working environment to study, work and play her part in the progress and development of our country. We have double standards, we dont send our daughters out to study cause the society is not yet ready to provide the much needed respect and security to her. Question is who is the society? Its all of us whose collective thinking and effort bring about a rational or irrational change in the system, and a of today our efforts are not good enough to support more than 50% of our population.
The elites and the well off class dont have such problems, their daughters feel fully secured, are well educated and even go for studies abroad and move around in the society with confidence of their family and educational back ground and even work as business organization's heads. But the lower middle class does not have means to educate them and they focus on giving education to their sons rather cause they consider them their future earning hands and the parents who give proper education to their daughters by working very hard to bear their educational expenses even dont feel comfortable to send their daughters to work in private organizations where there is no concept of basic employee rights and a every third male is a wolf in disguise of a man!
We start blaming governments, institutions, law enforcing agencies and when we could not find any thing else, we hold society responsible for it. Where is our role to support the women of Pakistan? We think Government and NGOs are responsible to improve their well being and provide secured environment to them to study and to work, agreed but they cant do it alone, a much needed support from our end is to be extended.
A lot of women sit at home after doing masters in various fields cause there was no granting of permission to do the job either from parents or from husband or his family. We are short of female doctors, IT specialists, scientists, engineers, writers, teachers, poets, members of the parliament and provincial assemblies, local bodies government, architects, designers, Textile marketers, aviators and many of such position in a lot of different fields. Its not the fact that women lack the spirit or basic qualification rather they are better than men in most of the fields but they are not provided the ease and comfort level to work freely in a secured environment. Ultimate goal of life for parents is get their daughters married in a good family with an equally good life partner and they think they have done justice to the role of being parents. Which is wrong, parents should plan their daughters future the way they plan it for their sons. Our Man lead society does not believe in making women independent through their own earning either from business or via job to maintain their so called supremacy over women. We are Nation having most practical and accommodative religion but in terms of real life situation we are narrow minded, arrogant, non accommodative, less supportive and very little open to providing opportunities to women who if properly included to come forward and give their share in the progress of our country can make such a significant difference that we can ten fold the speed of of our development and we could be a much better and stable economy.
She is being sent to the land of unknown, or in totally different family set up, or made life partner to close to impossible man in terms of her well being, or forced to be life partner of a persons she does not like, or have to bury her dreams of becoming the best professional working women in her respective field cause her parents decide where she should marry or she is been given very limited choices even they ask her willingness. Parents think that their role and responsibility is over when they get her married and she has to bear every thing including mental and physical torture in case her husband is a psychotic, or even does not treat her well or give her proper respect and breathing space to live. She keeps her silence and cool for the sake of her parents and keep on bearing every thing cause she knows her parents wont be able to face the society if she chooses to leave a person who is not her husband by any definition available.
I consider this a crime on every body's part to destroy the life of an innocent soul who has also got every right to enjoy her life to the fullest, domestic crimes against women are at very rate in our society and only handful of women are able to reach courts on their own or with help of NGOs, rest of the women pass their lives as if serving a sentence of life time imprisonment or house arrest where she has to take permission of every thing she does, has to give explanation on every dime she spends and above all has to work like a bonded slave to look after every member of her husband's family. Parents when send their daughters away from home after wedding, weep for a week or so and then start thinking that she is very happy and living an ideal life and never try to find out whats in side her heart. Even if the daughter tells them she is in trouble, they keep on advising her to deal her husband and her family with patience even the so called husband beats her every day like an animal, or keeps on torturing her. Parents are more concerned about their respect and honour which they earned with efforts and hard work over the years and let their daughter's live with a beast, some time willingly ar at times not knowingly. A girl before marriage who has not seen much of an out side world, has not got any experience to read the mean motives of her husband and In laws, blindly trusts every one and often suffers.
These silent sufferings are not fully documented and high lighted by NGOs, media whether print or electronic, but when they do highlight it, they do it in such a manner that it hurts the family members of the suffering girl in an irrecoverable manner. Who will provide justice to these innocent women who dont even file a complaint and keep on living with sufferings and sorrows around her. This can be done when we give proper respect, education and equal chances to excel in life to her so that no body can take un due advantage of her being dependent first on parents and then on her life partner. The improvement will start from our homes when we start giving respect and the right to women to take major decisions in her life with our support and provision of best education and equally good opportunities to strive in life with excellence.
Their are people who look after their daughters, sisters, wives and mothers equally good and go ends out to give them good education, respect and a prosperous working life, not every person is having negative notions for females, we should follow these people as our role models and ideals and learn from their life styles. Irony of the situation is that there is a majority of the population which is not willing to accommodate females in their so called world. The test ofmanlihood is not in torturing and mis-treating women but it is in the way to treat them with love, care, affection and above all as a human being who has own dreams and paths to follow in their lives to get a sense of achievment and confidence.
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